Gone Fishin'
by Alleonh
Summary: Squall is now the overstressed Headmaster of Balamb Garden. This is what happens when his Commander Seifer takes him fishing. COMPLETE!


Seifer Almasy clenched his jaw and told himself that it wasn't wise to contemplate strangling his headmaster. As it was, he sat stiffly in his chair, hands tightly gripping the armrests as he glared at the man across from him.

Squall Leonhart met his gaze calmly, if not a little irritably, "Seifer, I am not going fishing with you, and that is final. Why do you keep bugging me?"

Seifer suppressed a sigh as he glanced out Squall's office window. The day was bright and sunny, and he was not going to waste it sitting here arguing! "Because it's a perfect day and, not to sound childish but, you promised!"

"When?" Squall countered with a slight frown. Seifer was ready for that.

"Exactly three months and fourteen days ago." He sat back comfortably in his chair with a slightly smug expression as he reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a folded piece of paper. This he slid across the desk to Squall. Squall picked it up and unfolded it, all the while eying it with a half amused, half annoyed expression. It was a page from Seifer's personal date book. One date in particular was circled in red and said "FISHING!" in bold letters. Surrounding it, and spilling into the margins, were doodles of fish, fishing poles, tackle, lures, and hooks.

A small smile played at the corners of Squall's mouth as he passed the page back. "Proves nothing." He said shortly.

Seifer's expression was quickly morphing into a grin as he produced a second item, a tape recorder. He pressed a button and soon Squall's clear, if not agitated voice came from the speaker. "Seifer! You are driving me crazy! Fine! The next free day I have, we will go fishing. I promise."

Squall's eyes widened in surprise as he eyed the recorder with disdain. Then he looked at Seifer with disbelief. "Did you bug my office?"

Seifer feigned innocence and appeared appalled at the very notion. "That would be against regulations, and wrong Squall. However, it is perfectly legal to record oneself. It was neither my fault nor my intention to record you."

"Yeah right," Squall murmured as he closed his eyes and offhandedly rubbed his temple. "One thing though, in that I said when I have a 'free day', and I don't"

"Yes you do," Seifer argued, "There is nothing important happening today. Everything is taken care of so that we can go fishing. Now."

Squall gestured absently behind him, "Seifer, do you see that box of papers back there? I cannot leave here until they're sorted, signed, and filed. I'm sorry."

"What box?" Seifer asked looking curiously.

"What?" Squall turned and looked behind him startled. "Where'd it go?"

Seifer stood and stretched. "Actually, I broke in here last night. I signed what I needed to, and I forged what you needed to. Then, I filed them all this morning. By the way, your door needs a new lock."

"Now that _is_ illegal," Squall observed dryly.

"So fire me," Seifer stated with a shrug, "Then we can go fishing."

Squall sighed. Like any good soldier, he knew when he was beat. Slowly he stood up and gestured to his commander and friend, "Lead on."

Seifer led the way to the docks. His charge followed him silently, but that was okay to him. It gave him a chance to plan his strategy. Yeah, this was a little out of the ordinary, but, well, dang it, he had a job to do, and a promise to keep.

It had been a little over a week ago when Rinoa Leonhart had come to his office, seeking his help…

_Rinoa knocked lightly on Seifer's door, but did not wait for the answer. Instead she just opened it and walked into her friend's office. _

_Seifer looked up from the form he had been reading. A tad annoyed at first, he opened his mouth to rebuke Rinoa for her lack of manners. But he stopped himself after he got a look at her determined expression. _

_"Seifer," she said as she approached his desk and dropped into one of the two chairs across from him, "I need a favor."_

_Seifer put his paper down and sat back in his chair, "I'm sorry Rinoa, I'm a happily married man, and besides, Squall is my best friend. I could never betray him like that."_

_That broke the ice. Rinoa faltered for a second, her concentration shot. She quickly recovered and shot Seifer a reproachful look. "Seifer, grow-up. And also, eww," she shuddered. "I'm being serious though."_

_Seifer smiled apologetically, "Sorry, but you just looked too somber when you came in. Couldn't resist. What do you need?"_

_"I'm leaving for Galbadia in a few days," She began._

_Seifer held up a hand, stopping her, "I'm not baby-sitting."_

_Rinoa scoffed, "Like I'd trust you with the kids. But I don't need you for them, I need you for Squall."_

_"You want me to baby-sit Squall?" Seifer cocked an eyebrow._

_"No! Well…actually yes, but no," Rinoa capitulated while heaving an exasperated sigh, "Seifer, will you shut-up and let me finish?" _

_Seifer grinned as he suppressed a chuckle. This was fun, and besides, he knew where she was headed with this. _

_Rinoa backtracked and began again, "As I said. I'm leaving for Galbadia in a few days and well, you know Squall. He'll probably stay in his office the entire time working. He won't get enough to eat, or enough sleep. And you can just forget about fresh air and sunshine. I'll come home to a pale, malnourished, cranky shell of a husband, and that is just not something that I can deal with. That's why I need your help," She then stopped and regarded Seifer who was nodding slowly, a knowing look on his face. "Not to 'baby-sit', just get him out of the Garden for a little while. See that he doesn't work too much. Okay Seifer?..."_

And so Seifer found himself heading to the docks, keeping his promise and getting a small break from work as well. Seifer took a deep breath of the ocean air. It was fresh and cool, with a slight tinge of saltiness. He breathed it out in a sigh of pleasure. He was now in his element. Give him a fishing pole and a bucket of worms and he could stay out here forever. As for his charge however…

Seifer shot a side glance at Squall, who was examining the poles dubiously. A stray thought occurred to Seifer, "Wait, you do know how to fish, don't you"

A solemn gaze turned on him, "No."

Seifer looked at him surprised. "Isn't that some kind of standard skill that all SeeDs should know? What if you got lost in the wilderness and had to find your own food?"

Squall leveled a gaze at him, "And when will I ever have the time to get lost in the wilderness?" He sighed with resignation. Or disgust. Or both, perhaps. Seifer didn't really care. It wouldn't kill Squall to learn. And who knows, it might actually do him some good someday.

"Then it's high time you learned." Seifer stated taking one of the poles from Squall and baiting the hook with a long wiggling worm. This he handed to Squall.

Squall accepted the pole, all the while eying the writhing worm with slight disgust and making sure to keep the creature far away from him.

"Well?" Seifer urged.

Squall sighed and walked to the edge of the dock. He pressed the release on the fishing rod and the line dropped straight down. He looked at Seifer with a slight smirk.

"You're pathetic," Seifer said casting his own line. "You could at least try," he muttered.

Squall rolled his eyes slightly and reeled in his line. Assured that his half-drowned worm was still in place, he proceeded in casting his line, much like he saw Seifer do. Although it did not go near as far as Seifer's own well practiced cast, his effort was still admirable for his first try.

"Good," Seifer praised, pleased with his student. "Now, reel it in slowly."

"Why?" Squall asked, watching his line out in the distance.

"Because right now your worm is just sinking. You have to make it appear lively. That way a fish will go for it.

"Poor worm," Squall muttered as he nevertheless complied.

By this time, Seifer had made his first catch of the day. It was a young swordfish. Normally, this would have been a momentous occasion; however, this little guy was much too young and small to warrant much joy. In a few months though, he would be a beauty. Therefore with a sigh of regret, and a small wish that the fish would grow strong and then find his way back to his line when he did, Seifer let him go.

Squall had also reeled his line in. However, his line was fishless. His shoulders dropped tiredly.

"How'd you do?" Seifer inquired.

"I think my score is a negative."

"What do you mean?"

Squall held his line up for inspection, "The worm got away."

Seifer chuckled as he nudged the bucket of worms to Squall with his boot.

Squall however, shook his head. "This just isn't for me Seifer. You can have the rest of the day off and enjoy yourself, I'm going back to the Garden. "

Seifer watched Squall put his pole on the dock as he objected, "But you said that you would go fishing with me."

"And that I have. Now I am going back."

"Wait," Seifer said, "Maybe this form of fishing just isn't for you."

"Really."

Seifer ignored the sarcasm in that as he continued, "Maybe you're more suited for a more…hands on approach."

Wary as he was, Squall found his curiosity peaked. Seifer gestured for him to resume his place beside him on the edge of the dock. Squall complied, and then waited on further explanation.

As Squall stood looking off into the water Seifer said, "This form of fishing is called 'Grab the Fish as It Swims By'." And with that, Seifer reached over and shoved Squall into the bay with one hard push.

The cold shock of the water, matched with his surprise and anger at Seifer, left Squall somewhat disoriented as he plummeted into the water. This confusion was fleeting though, and Squall soon surfaced. However, he angled his ascent up and back so that he surfaced under the sturdy wooden pier instead of in front of it.

Squall tried to make Seifer's position; however, the dock was old and well built. The slits between the wide boards were too narrow to actually see anything or anyone who was actually on the dock above. That didn't matter though. As Squall quietly slid through the water to the opposite side, he was confident in his ability to sneak up the side of the dock and across the top before Seifer noticed him. Then he would give the commander a taste of his own medicine.

Squall gently pulled himself out of the water by his arms, making sure to cause as little splashing as possible. As he topped the pier, he scanned the area for his "prey".

Seifer was no where to be seen.

Squall looked around, waiting for the inevitable ambush that Seifer was no doubt planning. But there was nothing except the sounds of the water lapping gently onto the shore and the birds flying over head. Squall knew a moment of sheer annoyance at his seeming abandonment. After all, it had been Seifer that had dragged him here in the first place. Now he had the gall to leave?

Squall sat down heavily on the dock and dragged off his water laden boots. As he flipped them over to empty them of water, he half expected a fish or some other slimy creature to come flopping out on the deck. Maybe his woe begotten worm would come back for revenge. But the only thing that the boot held was a miserable amount of water. He pulled the still soggy boots back on and sat on the dock looking around, disgusted at this entire predicament.

Soon his wandering gaze fell on something odd. Squall slowly stood up and walked toward a stack of large packing crates that were sitting off to the side awaiting shipping. As he approached the crates, he looked around with practiced eyes, but he appeared alone.

He quickly reached the large wooden boxes. There, hidden behind the crates, he found Seifer, unconscious but alive.

Squall knelt beside his friend in concern and shook him by the shoulder. "Seifer? Wake up. Are you okay?"

Seifer did not respond, but before Squall could rise to get help, he felt a slight pressure on the back of his neck. He turned quickly, but his vision was already blurring. He could not clearly see the face of his assailant, and he could barely make out the object that could only be a syringe in the person's grasp. He tried to take a step forward, but Squall could no longer feel his legs, and soon all he knew was darkness.

"Laguna?"

_Huh?_

"Laguna! Laguna, Laguna!"

_…What?_

Squall slowly opened his eyes. He found himself lying on the hard floor of a small cell. Or, more accurately, a brig. He could hear the soft lapping of water against the steal hull of the boat that was apparently his prison. With the exception of a slight headache, he seemed unharmed, so he slid himself into a sitting position to better view his surroundings.

"Laguna?" it was soft at first, and yet oh so irritatingly familiar. Squall searched the sparsely decorated room that held his cell until he found his quarry. A pair of bright yellow eyes stood out in the corner by the single door that was about ten feet away. Attached to them was the furry body of a Moomba.

Squall groaned. Not this again. Every time he was around these things, something bad happened. Of course that time he had been held in the desert prison being tortured… but not to dwell on too many bad memories. But that did bring up another question. Where was Seifer? There was only one cell in this room, so he could only imagine that his friend was elsewhere on this ship. Great, another mystery.

But he could not think about that right now, because he was presently locked in a staring contest with the little fuzz ball in the corner. It was a young Moomba yet, only a kit and barely the size of a small housecat. And it was regarding him in much the same way that he was regarding it, with guarded curiosity.

"Hey little guy. Come here." Squall beckoned with an open hand, hoping to gain its trust. Although it was young, the Moomba was an intelligent creature. It could get him out of here.

Or maybe not. The Moomba cocked his head to one side and watched him a moment before exclaiming (or yelping?) "Laguna! Laguna!" and running out the door as fast as its small feet could carry it.

Squall sighed. Why him? Who did he piss off in a past life to deserve this?

Alone again, he settled himself as comfortably on the hard floor as he could and took in his surroundings. As he had originally observed, this room was sparsely decorated. There was a small bed bolted to the bulkhead inside the cell, a small desk and single chair out side and to the side. There were no windows to tell where he was, and nothing in the room that gave any indication who had attacked him, or where they were headed. Except for one thing. Squall's eyes widened as he saw a single piece of paper that was taped to the door. It was a skull and cross bones. This picture seemed to be done hastily, for it was crudely drawn and lacked any detail.

_Pirate? I've just been kidnapped by pirates? Pirates that can't draw to save their lives….great. A perfectly stupid ending to a perfectly stupid day._ Squall sat still, trying to figure how he was going to explain this to Rinoa, and more, how he would ever live this down. Squall then silently made a vow to himself that if he ever made it out of this mess, he would shove that fishing pole up Seifer's nose. Despite his grim predicament, that thought brought a wry smile to Squall's face and he stood up to try and find a way out of his cell and off this ship.

As if on cue, two men walked in through the side door. They stood for a moment and regarded him in silence. During this time, Squall had a chance to assess his captors, or at least the lackeys of his captors.

They were both strong men, built and trained as soldiers from the way that they were unconsciously standing and likewise, assessing him. Squall had to grudgingly admit to himself that he would have a hard time getting the better of them.

As for their apparel, well, they were dressed as pirates. This slightly surprised Squall, for even though he knew that there were indeed pirates in the world's oceans, he did not realize that they resembled their stereotypes so closely. One had a black eye patch over one eye, and the other sported a red bandana covering his hair. They both were adorned with plenty of gaudy gold jewelry, and each was armed with a single sword that hung at their waist in a plain leather scabbard.

These two could have easily been pulled from any child's story book. Squall would have laughed at the sheer hilarity of it if he had not, seemingly, just been kidnapped by pirates.

He waited in silence for them to make their first move. It did not take long, for soon the one with the bandana approached the cell and unlocked the door. "The Capt'n be wantin' to see ye," he growled in a very deep and piratey accent. Squall nodded, once more wondering if these guys were for real. He decided to play along and see how this ended out. In all actuality, he didn't have much choice because the other pirate had also stepped forward and drawn his sword (which was the only thing that seemed very real), and was now waiting for him to exit his cell.

Squall obliged, and no sooner than he was out of his cell did he feel that sword in his back, nudging him towards the door.

The three made their way through the bowels of the ship (which was not too large) and up a small, compact flight of stairs. Once he reached the top, Squall found himself on the deck of the ship and surrounded by more than two dozen pirates, all dressed similar to his "escorts" and all regarding him with wary and unfriendly gazes.

There was a second flight of stairs leading down to the hold, but they did not take him there. Nor did they lead him to the single door that he could only imagine led to the Captain's quarters. Instead, Squall was taken to the rear of the ship where he was unexpectedly met by a gangplank

_I'm going to walk the plank. Figures. _Of all the ways that Squall had imagined he would meet his end, he could honestly say that this was not one of them.

At least he had found Seifer. His friend was already positioned on the plank, his back to Squall as he peered into the water below with disdain.

"Seifer," Squall offered in greeting as he drew near. Seifer turned his head to see him, his expression a mixture of relief and annoyance.

"Can you believe this?" Seifer said. He tried to turn fully around, but the pirate guarding him gestured with his sword for him to stop. Seifer scowled at the man, but complied.

"Actually…yeah," Squall muttered as he took up his position by the plank.

The two SeeDs did not have to wait long for the Captain of the vessel, for soon the crowd that had gathered around them parted, and a lone man began to walk towards them.

The man demanded respect with no words, for the other pirates gave him the space that their leader deserved. He was not much taller than Squall, and had long brown hair that was pulled back in a loose ponytail while pieces escaped to frame his face. He too had an eye patch that covered one eye. But the other bright green orb glared uninhibited at Squall with such ferocity that Squall had to wonder if this guy had something against him personally. While he could not remember ever directly pissing off a pirate, Squall couldn't help but think that this man was somewhat familiar, like they had met somewhere before…But all that surfaced to his mind was frustrated annoyance at his inability to remember who this guy reminded him of. Lastly, the young Moomba that Squall had met earlier was perched on his shoulder like some kind of wayward parrot. It was watching the scene around it with great curiosity.

The pirate captain stopped still a distance away from them, so Squall was unable to get the close look that he wanted.

"What do you want with us?" Seifer spoke first to the captain.

The man paused before he answered, and the stray thought flashed through Squall's mind that if this guy answered with "Aye Avast!" or "Shiver me timbers!", then he would throw himself off this leaky tub and swim home.

However, such drastic action was unnecessary as the captain answered in clear, concise, and almost too precise speech, "One must never discuss business before introductions are properly made."

_Was he disguising his voice? _Squall again remarked an odd similarity with…what? He just could not place it.

The pirate continued, "I am Captain L.E. Marsh. Welcome aboard my ship gentlemen." The Captain fell silent, waiting for some response. However, Squall and Seifer offered none. After a moment, Marsh smiled, a smug quirk of his lips. "Your silence is unnecessary Headmaster, for indeed I know who you are. Commander Almasy as well. "

Squall kept silent, but tossed an annoyed glance at Seifer who shrugged. "I didn't tell him anything," the Commander murmured. Squall returned his gaze back to Captain Marsh who was watching them intently.

Seifer turned around to finally face the Captain, "If you know so much about us, then you have to know that the Garden doesn't negotiate with terrorists, or kidnappers for that matter. And it doesn't matter who the victims are either. Sorry pal, but all you've accomplished is pissing a bunch of people off."

"Then it is a good thing that I do not wish to negotiate." Marsh paused a moment, then continued, "You see, money and riches are easy enough to obtain without the use of such action. All that is required is the right amount of force on the right victim. Thus is the nature of the pirate."

"So, what do you need us for?," Seifer asked, "Looks like you have it all figured out."

"Yes Commander, we do have it 'all figured out'. This is a way of life that has profited us for many years."

"So what's changed?" Squall asked finally.

"Oh, he does talk!" Marsh observed with a grin.

"Laguna!" The Moomba piped cheerfully.

The pirate captain hushed his pet before he continued, "Technology, it would seem, does not wait for anyone, and that applies to us as well. Sadly enough, we have become woefully ill-equipped to face the arsenals that are now turned against us. "

"So?" Squall said shortly.

"My, positively chatty, aren't we?" Marsh said. Squall kept his face neutral; however, this guy was definitely beginning to bug him.

"So, the Gardens are the most advanced military forces in the world save, perhaps, for Esthar. And among the Gardens, Balamb's star shines brightest."

"So you want weapons." Seifer observed.

"Exactly," Marsh said pleased, "And you two are going to get them for us. In exchange for your freedom, of course."

"And if we refuse?" Squall asked.

"Then you walk the plank. While our weapons may be obsolete, some of our traditions are still very effective and will never change."

"You're joking, right?" Seifer couldn't help but scoff.

"Of course not," Captain Marsh explained jovially. "If you will not help us, then we have little use for you, unless you would like to join us that is."

"You would never get away with that." Seifer said.

"I do not see why not," Marsh explained casually, "The docks were very empty, and you two were alone. An unwise mistake on your parts. There were no witnesses. Also, we are a half a day's journey from Balamb. There is little chance that anyone would find your bodies. They would not even know where to begin looking. And by the time that they even notice that you are missing and not coming back, my crew and I will be long gone."

"They would find us," Seifer insisted.

"You're delusional." Marsh stated. "The Garden would never find out what happened to you. In fact, they may not even suspect kidnapping. Both of you have stressful jobs that would strain anyone's patience. Perhaps they would think that the two of your just grew tired of your positions and left. "

"They know we wouldn't do that." Seifer said.

Marsh laughed tightly, "My dear boy, my entire crew was created by just that very reason. Respectable men who were suddenly too pressured by their lives. They ran away to find this life. However, if you indeed are not going to help us then…" He gestured to the guards nearest to the two SeeDs. Seifer was forced to the end of the plank, where he stood looking into the clear ocean. Behind him, Squall stood waiting in silence.

Seifer looked around anxiously, "Aren't you going to do something?" He asked Squall who had been silent all this time.

Squall gave him an odd look, then turned to face the pirates, "Captain!" he exclaimed, "I want to join you!"

"What?" Captain Marsh said taken aback.

"What?" Seifer exclaimed at the same time. He took a step back and put a hand on Squall's shoulder. "What are you doing?"

"Sorry pal," Squall said shortly. With one quick move, he kicked Seifer's legs out from under him. The much larger man tried to regain his footing, but on the narrow strip of wood, it proved to be an impossible task. With a surprised yelp, Seifer tumbled headfirst into the clear blue ocean. A moment later he resurfaced, sopping wet and red with rage.

Squall ignored his comrades angry yells as he turned back towards the pirates. They were all regarding him warily.

Captain Marsh looked on appraisingly. "You have turned on your friend. Do you realize this is shark infested water?"

At that comment, Seifer's voice took on a more frantic edge.

"Good," Squall said, "A quick end."

Marsh nodded with a chuckle. "That may or may not be considered a blessing by your friend."

"He was my commander, he was never my friend." Squall stated. "I want to join you Captain. You are right. I am tired of the day in, day out crap that I have to go through. This experience has shown me a new way, a new path to freedom."

"Be sure of yourself boy," Captain Marsh narrowed his eyes warningly, "I will not tolerate you turning allegiances in the middle of a fight."

"I will not do that," Squall said

Marsh laughed, "Your words hold little sway. Have I not already witnessed betrayal in you once? What if I were to tell you that our next target was Balamb?"

Squall paused a moment, then, "Good. Burn it to the ground. I want a clean escape."

That caught the pirate captain off guard, and he faltered, "What? What about your family?"

"What makes you think that I have family?" Squall said with a slight smile.

"Eh…um… one can only assume."

"A pirate has no past," Squall said, "Only today, and tomorrow. That is the life that I want now."

"And what of tomorrow?" Marsh wanted to know.

Squall turned a fiery gaze on the Captain that rivaled the most unforgiving of infernos. "Tomorrow? Esthar."

"Now that's going too far!" Captain Marsh exclaimed. "You cannot be serious."

Squall laughed, "Of course I am. You need ambition Captain. Take Balamb, and take Esthar, and word alone will make the others fall. Every port will crumble under our might!"

"Our?" Marsh asked, beginning to look a little pale.

"Yes," Squall said, "Soon we shall rule the seas as father and son!"

"No!...wait, huh?" Captain Marsh looked incredulous. "You mean you knew all along?"

"Of course," Squall stated flatly to his father, "With that hair, I can finally see a small resemblance."

"Really?" Laguna Loire brightened eagerly.

"Barely."

"Oh."

"Plus," Squall added, "Your 'parrot' kept calling me 'Laguna'."

Laguna looked at the Moomba on his shoulder angrily, "Moomby! You traitor!"

"Laguna! Laguna!" The baby Moomba latched onto the side of Laguna's head in a big hug. The large pirate hat was displaced, as well as the long brown wig. Laguna reached to remove the disguise from his head, revealing his own long black mane. Then he removed the eye patch.

"Now what?" Laguna said.

"Take us home." Squall said walking over to the side of the ship. "Seifer." He called down, " Were you in on this?"

"I'm not saying anything until you get me out of this water! If a shark bites me, I'm going to be pissed!" Came the indignant, if not panicky, reply.

There are no sharks off the coast of Balamb, Seifer." Squall said patiently

"Oh."

Squall smiled slightly. Then his eyes caught sight of the side of the ship. Its pristine ivory finish glinted brightly in the afternoon sunlight. "A White Seed ship…" Squall muttered. He turned back to face his father, "You wasted a White SeeD ship to parade around as a pirate? Does that mean-?"

"This wasn't my idea Squall." Ellone Loire said as she walked out of the hold, escorted by an older looking White SeeD commander.

Squall hugged his sister, then saluted the SeeD. "I am sorry, sir, that you and your men had to go along with my father and my friend's scheme." He looked around at the other "pirates" who were all beginning to remove their own pirate guises. None of them looked angry however. In fact, they all seemed to be having a great time.

"Well met my boy!" The White SeeD Commander said clapping him on the shoulder. "It was a jolly good trip! I do believe that was the first time that the 'kidnappers' were ousted by the 'kidnappee'."

Squall smiled at that, and then went back to the side railing. He leaned on it comfortably and looked down at Seifer, who was still treading water in the ocean. "Let's go fishing, huh?" he said with a slight smile.

Seifer glared up at him, seething with anger. "Never again buddy! After this, you can stay in that office until Shiva and Ifirit have a snowball fight in Hell! I'm through!"

Squall chuckled to himself softly as he and the others tried to fish Seifer out of the ocean feeling, for the first time in many months, completely and totally relaxed.

**THE END**

B.K.W 10/13/2004


End file.
